List of My Family episodes
- 1 Overview
- 2 Episodes
- 3 References
- 4 External links
The first series of eight episodes aired from 19 September to 7 November 2000, mostly on Tuesdays at 8:30 pm. The second series, of thirteen episodes, aired from 31 August to 30 November 2001 on Fridays at 8:30 pm and the third series, of twelve episodes, from 6 September to 12 December 2002, firstly on Fridays at 8:30 pm then Thursday at 8:00 pm. The 2002 Christmas special aired at 6:55 pm. The thirteen-episode fourth series aired from 21 March to 13 June 2003 on Fridays, mostly at 8:30 pm. A Christmas special aired on 5 December 2003 and a further special aired on 12 March 2004. The fifth series, of thirteen episodes, aired from 19 March to 18 June 2004. The 2004 Christmas special aired on 25 December 2004 and the 2005 special on 24 December 2005. The seven-episode sixth series aired from 10 March to 28 April 2006, followed by a Christmas special on 25 December 2006. Series Seven, of nine episodes, aired from 6 April to 8 June 2007. A Christmas special aired on 26 December 2007 at 7:00 pm. The eighth series aired from 11 April to 23 May 2008 on Friday evenings at 9:00 pm, moving to 9:30 pm from the second episode onwards. The 2008 Christmas special aired on 24 December at 8:30 pm. The ninth series, of nine episodes aired from 2 April to 14 May 2009 on Thursday evenings at 8:30pm, moving to 8:00pm from the second episode onwards. However, episodes 4 and 5 were broadcast on Sunday 19 May at 8pm and 8:30pm respectively. A Christmas special aired on 24 December 2009 at 8pm. The tenth series, of nine episodes, began airing from 9 July 2010 to 27 August 2010 on Friday nights at 9pm, with two episodes that had to be rescheduled being aired on June 17 and July 29, 2011 respectively. The eleventh series, also of nine episodes, began airing on 1 July 2011. All episodes are thirty minutes long, except six of the Christmas specials. The 2004, 2005 and 2006 Christmas specials are 50 minutes long whilst the 2007, 2008 and 2009 specials are 60 minutes long. All episodes originally aired on BBC One.
Series Episodes Originally aired DVD release Christmas Specials Region 1 Region 2 One 8 2000 10 October 2006 22 March 2004 N/A Two 13 2001 10 October 2006 7 June 2004 N/A Three 14 2002 13 October 2009 12 September 2005 "Ding Dong Merrily" Four 14 2003 13 October 2009 20 March 2006 "Sixty Feet Under" Five 16 2004–2005 — 18 September 2006 "Glad Tidings We Bring" & "...And I’ll Cry If I Want To" Six 8 2006 — 25 June 2007 "The Heart of Christmas" Seven 10 2007 — 24 September 2007 "Ho Ho No" Eight 8 2008 — 14 July 2008 "Have An Unhappy Christmas" Nine 10 2009 — 25 May 2009 "2039: A Christmas Oddity" Ten 10 2010 — 6 September 2010 "Mary Christmas" Eleven 9 2011 — 15 August 2011
Series One (2000)
# Title Directed by Written by Original airdate Duration Viewership 1 "The Serpent’s Tooth" Baz Taylor James Hendrie and Ian Brown 19 September 2000 30 minutes 8.48 million Ben (Robert Lindsay) gets angry when Janey (Daniela Denby-Ashe) tells him she is seeing another dentist, the Australian Mel Fraser, as Ben never gets round to seeing them. Ben soon discovers that Susan (Zoë Wanamaker) has also seen Mel, causing them to argue. They then have to reassure Michael (Gabriel Thompson) that they are not going to divorce. Meanwhile Janey, who had taken an instant liking to Mel, says she will not see him again after he treated her like a child. Nick (Kris Marshall), meanwhile, meets Isabelle (Kathrine Andover), a French swimwear model, on the Internet. Ben bets him £50 she is not who she says she is, and so Nick invites her round. Michael rebels by buying himself a rabbit called Hannibal. 2 "Pain In The Class" Baz Taylor James Hendrie and Ian Brown 26 September 2000 30 minutes 7.46 million Janey wants a tattoo, Nick wants to be a dot-com millionaire and it also soon transpires that Michael is being bullied by Jason Hodder, and his reason for not telling Ben and Susan is that Ben wouldn’t react and Susan would overreact. Later on the following day, Ben receives a phone call from Susan telling him that there’s a bit of a problem, albeit a bit more serious, on a scale of one to ten: fourteen point five; Michael is absolutely covered in custard, Susan decides to call Jason's parents but then a fight soon kicks off as the parents are scared out of the house by an angry Ben who is hitting them with a rolled up magazine. The next day, Michael is late home from school and Susan starts to worry that he’s lying in a ditch somewhere but soon discovers that Janey and Michael had beaten Jason up. 3 "Droit De Seigneur Ben" Baz Taylor Fred Barron and Shawn Schepps 3 October 2000 30 minutes 5.95 million At the surgery, Ben is attending to another one of his patients, who turns out to be Lord Whitten, and who Bridget also seems to be a big fan of. They begin talking about various subjects when his son pops into the conversation, who he’d like to meet up with a girl, at first he asks Bridget but then she suggests Janey, who, when she finds out, is furious that Ben has set her up on a ‘blind date’ until she finds out there’s a picture of him and his family in Hello! Magazine and that he’s absolutely gorgeous. 4 "The Last Resort" Baz Taylor Steve Armogida, Jim Armogida, Ian Brown and James Hendrie 10 October 2000 30 minutes 5.42 million Susan’s not looking forward to turning 40 (again). Ben’s unsure of what to get her, until Janey assures him that Susan wants to go on a romantic weekend away – just the two of them. At first, Ben is reluctant, as he doesn’t like travelling, but Janey forces him to talk to Susan. Initially his ideas of where to go don’t please her, but she suggests the B&B they stayed at just before they got married. Arriving at the B&B, they find virtually nothing has changed in the room they stayed at some twenty-two years ago, except for the romance, which seems to have disappeared out of their marriage. 5 "Farewell To Alarms" Baz Taylor Steve Armogida and Jim Armogida 17 October 2000 30 minutes 6.89 million Susan is worried about the growing crime rate in the area and after a series of events including Bridget’s van (allegedly) getting stolen and a stranger strolling around the house after Nick decided to become a landlord, she decides the time has come to get an alarm, and an expensive top-of-the-range alarm at that. After night-on-night of the alarm going off due to various problems, Ben's had enough of the sleepless nights and decides to turn off the alarm. What should just be a simple task of turning off the alarm soon turns into 'Mission Impossible' and Ben is forced to clamber over furniture and make all sorts of other ridiculous movements just to try to get back to his bedroom without setting off the alarm. 6 "Death And Ben Take A Policy" Baz Taylor Fred Barron and Penny Croft 24 October 2000 30 minutes 6.19 million A Chinese businessman goes missing on a tour of Madame Tussauds and when he is later found dead, Susan begins to worry about the effect on the kids as it is their "first death", even though they've never even met Mr Chen or been to Madame Tussauds. Later that evening at dinner, Nick reveals that he's offered his latest would-be job to Emily Foster, someone who he really likes and someone who also wants a chance to sell life insurance, so Nick suggests Ben, although to his shock, Susan has already apparently bought life insurance from him. At first, he's hesitant to let her come round, but after Nick persuades him (telling him there might even be a chance of moving out) Ben's all for it. 7 "The Awkward Phase" Baz Taylor Fred Barron 30 October 2000 30 minutes 8.38 million Nick's trying to teach Michael how to act on his first time out on a girl: the rules etc. He's also fixed Ben's chair though Ben forbade him to ever touch anything of his ever again, and when he later tells Ben that he fixed his chair, Ben goes off into a rant about how he just wants him to leave everything alone. Susan just puts Nick latest behaviour of trying to fix things down to an awkward phase, but Ben disagrees: twenty years isn't a phase, it's him. 8 "Much Ado About Ben" Baz Taylor Steve Armogida and Jim Armogida 7 November 2000 30 minutes 7.62 million After taking Viagra which Susan found in Nick's pocket, Ben ends up in hospital and soon after, Susan forces him to go on a diet for the good of his health, which he detests, but later on, after being given a book by Bridget about her guru (Dave, who is also a part-time builder) who had a near-death experience which completely changed his life, Ben returns home and scares his family even more than the events of the previous night, because he’s in a good mood. And to top it all off, he’s actually singing.
Series Two (2001)
# Title Directed by Written by Original airdate Duration Viewership 9 "All Roads Lead To Ramon" Dewi Humphreys James Hendrie and Ian Brown 31 August 2001 30 minutes 8.94 million When Nick is fired from an employment agency for being "chronically unemployable", Susan is forced into giving him a job as a tour guide, which proves a disaster. Meanwhile, when Janey has a different boy round each day, each one coaching in her A-Levels, Ben accidentally calls her a prostitute. Also, Stupid Brian (Kevin Bishop) tries to win Janey back, and Ben has dental assistant problems. The agency sends him a temporary assistant, Ramon, who turns out to be Nick in disguise. 10 "The Unkindest Cut" Dewi Humphreys Steve Armogida and Jim Armogida 7 September 2001 30 minutes 9.04 million After a weekend together in Paris, Susan thinks she is pregnant. After discussing whether to have the baby or not, Susan finds out it was a false alarm, but insists Ben has a vasectomy so it does not happen again. Meanwhile, Nick follows Jamie Oliver and becomes a "naked chef". 11 "Parisian Beauty" Dewi Humphreys Andrea Solomons 14 September 2001 30 minutes 8.24 million As part of a French Exchange programme, Sylvie, a French exchange student, comes to stay with the Harpers, but Janey's really only doing it so she can go to Paris with Stupid Brian in return. Sylvie's arrival causes the usual amount of disarray - Michael has to stay in Nick's room and as a result turns into a virtual clone of his older brother and Nick tries to impress Sylvie using a number of different guises. Everything seems to be going well until Ben thinks Sylvie is starting to fancy him. 12 "Trust Never Sleeps" Dewi Humphreys James Hendrie and Ian Brown 21 September 2001 30 minutes 9.55 million Janey has got an A for French and would like a party. Susan says as she trusts Janey she can have one while they are away visiting friends in Oxford, but Ben thinks she’s crazy. Ben and Susan set out for Oxford, but on the way they stop at an off-licence and Ben overhears the salesman talking about a girl whose parents are mad enough to leave her alone to have a party. They decide to sneak home and make sure all is well, and end up having to retreat to their bedroom and hide - they don't want to be discovered by Janey, as she will think they don't trust her. 13 "Death and Ben Take A Holiday" Dewi Humphreys Fred Barron 28 September 2001 30 minutes 9.65 million Ben's Aunt Margaret has died and with Susan in bed with the flu, he has to take one of the kids, he first tries to persuade Michael, and then Janey, to go to Leeds to the funeral with him. They refuse, but Nick asks to come instead. Arriving at the hotel, it seems Ben has brought death on holiday with him, with body bags being taken out of the hotel and then the remains of a crime scene in his bedroom. Janey gives some pills to Susan which she got off stupid Brian and persuades her to take them… they seem to have a positive effect, but arriving at the hotel, Susan finds Nick’s date in bed with him and Ben, and to make matters worse, the pills start to have a strange effect on Susan at the funeral. 14 "Driving Miss Crazy" Dewi Humphreys James Hendrie and Ian Brown 5 October 2001 30 minutes 11.00 million Janey is revising for her driving test, while Ben is having problems with his neighbour Mr Casey (Nickolas Grace) and his dog Gemma, who always fouls on the Harper's porch. Mr Casey complains non-stop about Ben's scruffy shed, untidy garden and other things. Both Ben and Mr Casey refuse to back down, and a huge war ensues. 15 "I Second That Emulsion" Dewi Humphreys James Hendrie and Ian Brown 12 October 2001 30 minutes 11.16 million Susan decides to redecorate the living room, and Stupid Brian offers to do the job, but Susan has problems deciding what colour to paint it, and to make matters worse, Ben goes to a paint shop only to discover Nick working there, who persuades him to buy some. Inevitably, when Ben gets it home it is the wrong colour. After all of the commotion with the paint, Brian still can't start decorating the living room so Janey asks him to stay for the 'day, night and whatever', much to the horror of her parents. Janey comes downstairs to take Brian up to bed. Brian confesses to Ben he doesn't know what to do about staying over. Ben says he doesn't want to know but suggests he pretends to leave, and then climb through Janey's window. 16 "The Age of Romance" Dewi Humphreys James Hendrie and Ian Brown 19 October 2001 30 minutes 11.22 million Michael has a new computer, Nick had a new girlfriend, and Janey is starting to feel neglected. But there's just the smallest of problems with Nick's girlfriend Amanda - she's old enough to be his mother! (Although, Ben jokingly claims she isn't that old, which annoys Susan). When a talk between Susan and Nick fails, Susan suggests Ben talks to him, but the conversation isn't quite what she was probably after when they end up in the cupboard. After a rocky start and some shocks, things seem to be going well, until Susan discovers Amanda is married. 17 "Get Cartier" Dewi Humphreys Fred Barron 26 October 2001 30 minutes 11.05 million When Ben gets a new patient called Mr Smith (Michael Attwell), he suspects that he is an "underworld kingpin", although Mr Smith says his business is "organised dance and waste removal". However, Ben soon starts to get suspicious when he receives lots of gifts, and when Susan finds one of them, a Cartier watch, she thinks Ben has bought it for their upcoming 23rd wedding anniversary. 18 "’Tis A Pity She’s A Whore" Dewi Humphreys Steve Armogida and Jim Armogida 2 November 2001 30 minutes 11.06 million When Susan's mother (Avril Elgar) rings and says she's dying again, Janey goes to visit her. She then tells Janey that her mother Mary was a prostitute, which shocks Ben as Susan never told him. Meanwhile, Michael is standing in the school elections as a Conservative, much to Ben's annoyance as he claims it is a "Labour household", but Michael does manage to get Ben a park bench with his name on it. 19 "The Last Supper" Dewi Humphreys Steve Armogida and Jim Armogida 9 November 2001 30 minutes 12.54 million Scott Tailor (Mac McDonald), Susan's new American boss, comes round for dinner. After arguing with him about his new ideas, which includes her dressing up as a Beatle, she triggers his acid reflux so he has to sleep in their bed overnight. When he then dies in his sleep, Susan thinks she argued him to death and goes to a priest (Andy Greenhalgh) to confess. Meanwhile, Nick dates a policewoman (Kaye Wragg). 20 "Ben Wants To Be A Millionaire" Dewi Humphreys Steve Armogida and Jim Armogida 23 November 2001 30 minutes 11.22 million Ben and Susan go out to dinner with a multi-millionaire old school friend of his, Andy Banks (Daniel Hill), and his young wife Ambyr (Kim Ross), who is going in for cosmetic surgery. After taking advice from Andy, both Ben and Susan invest in the stock market. Meanwhile, Susan is learning Russian for a new tour group, Janey wants some Prada shoes and Nick tries out two new jobs: selling his organs on eBay, and being a sperm donor. 21 "Breakable" Dewi Humphreys James Hendrie and Ian Brown 30 November 2001 30 minutes 11.15 million Susan finds £1255 in Nick's trousers, and Nick uses this to buy a motorcycle so he can form a motorcycle stunt display team called The League of Mentalmen. His first performance is at the Peterborough Rock Festival, where he gets injured when he launches himself off a ramp and hits a cow and ends up in hospital with a broken arm, leg, three broken ribs and whiplash. Susan visits Nick and persuades Ben to act fatherly to his son, making him converse with Nick and give him his beloved childhood toy, Sir Edworth Tedworth. She also tries to make Ben confess to Nick that he loves him. Meanwhile, Janey gets a job as a waitress in Soho and hopes to be discovered by film producers, but ends up being fired.
Series Three (2002)
# Title Directed by Written by Original airdate Duration Viewership 22 "Absent Vixen, Cheeky Monkey" Dewi Humphreys James Hendrie and Ian Brown 6 September 2002 30 minutes 8.10 million After Janey leaves home to go to Manchester University, Ben and Susan fight for who will get her room, Susan begins to miss Janey too much and begins to bug Ben about it every night. Meanwhile, Nick gets a job as a shelf stacker at a supermarket called Freshfair and brings his work home with him, while Michael is reading The Art of War by Sun Tzu. 23 "Shrink Rap" Dewi Humphreys Fred Barron and Sophie Hetherington 13 September 2002 30 minutes 8.28 million Susan 'finds' a letter in Michael's room from the school about an 'Auction of Promises', which he had hidden because he finds his parents embarrassing. However, Ben and Susan go to the Auction anyway, with Susan donating a tour and Ben donating a dental session. Susan bids for everything, including a counselling session, which she and Ben then attend. 24 "Desperately Squeaking Susan" Dewi Humphreys James Hendrie and Ian Brown 20 September 2002 30 minutes 8.23 million Following Janey's absence, Susan feels a void and needs female company, so she invites Ben's second cousin Abi (Siobhan Hayes), who has just started at Art College in London, round for dinner. However, they end up in Casualty when Abi puts her hand through a window. Susan then invites Abi to come and live with them, much to Ben's annoyance. Meanwhile, Nick becomes a magician under the name Brian Miles while Susan plays the cello. 25 "Of Mice And Ben" Dewi Humphreys Steve Armogida and Jim Armogida 27 September 2002 30 minutes 8.12 million Ben and Susan agree that Abi can make a film of them for her film class, to portray a "typical married couple". Meanwhile, there is a rat which seems to survive every trap set for it. It is eventually found to be nestled in the basement where it comes face to face with Ben, whose terrified reaction is caught on camera by Abi who then sells it to a TV programme called When Animals Attack. 26 "Imperfect Strangers" Dewi Humphreys James Hendrie and Ian Brown 3 October 2002 30 minutes 7.34 million After getting a call of distress from Janey, Ben and Susan drive up to Manchester where they discover they are not needed after all, so they decide to stay in Maythorne Metrolodge on the M62. Once there they decide to pretend to be strangers under the names Delores DeLarge and Johnny Studd, and meet for the first time. Meanwhile, Abi invites her boyfriend Michael (Matthew Ashforde) round, and the other Michael tells lies to make sure he leaves, leaving Abi furious. 27 "The Second Greatest Story Ever Told" Dewi Humphreys Steve Armogida and Jim Armogida 10 October 2002 30 minutes 8.14 million Susan auditions for the community theatre's nativity play, but ends up with the role of shepherd number two, while Nick is given the part of Jesus, but she soon tries to expand her character. Abi has a new job at a coffee shop, where Michael finds out his date Sophie (Sydney Stevenson) is seeing someone else. Meanwhile, Ben is writing a speech for the Central London Dental Association, and very reluctantly has to go to the dentist. He arrives to find his dentist, old mentor Roger Bailey, has died and been replaced by his son Roger Bailey, Jr (Keiron Self), who treats him like a toddler. 28 "Waiting to Inhale" Dewi Humphreys Fred Barron 17 October 2002 30 minutes 6.16 million After finding a cannabis cigarette in Michael's bedroom, which he had got from a friend called Bex (Gemma Gregory), Susan and Ben decide to smoke it themselves as an example to their children. However, after their high Ben and Susan realise they have to make up another cigarette using expired parsley, so they can have a word with Michael. 29 "Misery" Dewi Humphreys Andrea Solomons 24 October 2002 30 minutes 8.57 million In a bid to have some fun and relive her own days at University, Susan goes to stay with Janey, much to her surprise. However, Janey is left reeling with embarrassment when Susan starts a food fight in the canteen among other things. Meanwhile, Ben is looking forward to winning a peaceful game of golf with his 90-year-old friend Gerald, but his plans are thrown into chaos when Abi causes him to twist and burn his ankle. He’s stuck in his bedroom, unable to move or leave the house, and has to face the likes of Michael who wants to go on a school trip, and Nick whose latest career involves him becoming a female impersonator. 30 "Auto Erotica" Dewi Humphreys Steve Armogida and Jim Armogida 7 November 2002 30 minutes 7.94 million Susan wants a romantic weekend in Dorset for her and Ben's 26th wedding anniversary. However, after Nick wins an 72 MG Roadster car in a poker game, Ben is more concerned about fixing it up. Also, Michael accidentally ends up with a pair of knickers which belong to Abi, who he fancies. 31 "A Handful of Dust" Dewi Humphreys James Hendrie and Ian Brown 21 November 2002 30 minutes 7.82 million Ben is upset when everyone ignores his birthday, although he told them not to make a fuss. After much pestering from Susan, Janey comes down from university for Ben's birthday, and brings with her a friend called Kate (Catherine Bailey), and the two seem to be lesbians. Nick becomes a gorilla-gram. 32 "The Lost Weekend" Dewi Humphreys James Hendrie and Ian Brown 28 November 2002 30 minutes 7.23 million After Michael leaves for a Higher Maths Fun Weekend, Ben and Susan have the house to themselves. Susan's perfect weekend includes looking for antiques and going to the Tate Modern, while Ben's is to relax and do nothing at home or to go to the cinema. Ben tries to teach Susan to relax, but in the end they just end up annoying each other. 33 "Ghosts" Dewi Humphreys Andrea Solomons 5 December 2002 30 minutes 7.68 million After signing up on oldpals.com, Susan gets a bunch of flowers from Kirk Mason (Michael Simkins), who dumped her 28 years previously, and with Janey's help she gets her revenge on him. Meanwhile, Michael finds out their house is cursed and Abi becomes convinced the house is haunted. While Nick becomes an exorcist and a taxi driver. 34 "One Flew Out of the Cuckoo’s Nest" Dewi Humphreys Steve Armogida and Jim Armogida 12 December 2002 30 minutes 7.24 million Ben finally gets so fed up with Nick after he breaks and sells his record collection that he tells Nick to move out. Nick eventually moves out, much to Susan's horror. He gets a job at Ben's local pub, but he is still not totally independent. Also, Michael tries to get fit for a girl called Julia (Katie Hudson). 35 "Ding Dong Merrily" Dewi Humphreys James Hendrie and Ian Brown 25 December 2002 30 minutes 8.57 million When Janey comes home for Christmas, she's pregnant and Susan wants to know who the father is. However, Janey refuses to tell her, but does tell Ben, who then lies to Susan about the father. Meanwhile, Nick starts a Christmas tree business and then invites round Mr Bradley (Trevor Peacock), an "old person", for Christmas Day. Also, when Susan cooks the turkey with chocolate and raisins, everyone decides they are vegetarians.
Series Four (2003)
# Title Directed by Written by Original airdate Duration Viewership 36 "Fitting Punishment" Dewi Humphreys James Hendrie and Ian Brown 21 March 2003 30 minutes 8.77 million Following the death of Mr Beamish, who owned the surgery above Ben's, Roger Bailey Jnr, the son of Ben's former mentor, tries to buy it, but Ben lies and tells him someone else has bought it, so Roger buys the surgery below instead. Meanwhile, Susan tries to make the house baby-friendly for Janey's yet-to-be-born baby, and then has problems with the plumbers. Nick becomes a film extra, Michael becomes obsessed with the Army cadets and Roger falls for Abi as soon as he sees her. 37 "They Shoot Harpers, Don’t They?" Dewi Humphreys James Hendrie and Ian Brown 28 March 2003 30 minutes 9.76 million Susan tricks Ben into joining a modern Latin dance class, but Ben dances better than her. They both then get Roger, who dances "like Fred Astaire", to teach them privately so they can enter a competition at the end of the month. Meanwhile, after getting a 'B' in a Maths test, Michael decides to stop thinking about girls so he can focus on his studies. Guest starring Jacey Sallés and Georgie Glen. 38 "The Great Escape" Dewi Humphreys Steve Armogida and Jim Armogida 4 April 2003 30 minutes 10.17 million When Susan's mother Grace (Rosemary Leach) invites herself round for dinner, Ben invents an excuse and goes to Nick's apartment for the evening. When he returns, he does not realise Grace is in his bed and nearly makes love to her thinking that she is Susan. The following day, they all end up at Nick's to avoid Grace. Also, Susan finds a condom in Michael's wallet. 39 "Return of the Prodigal Prat" Dewi Humphreys Steve Armogida and Jim Armogida 11 April 2003 30 minutes 9.56 million After Ben is listed in the obituaries of newspaper The Herald, he takes it as the perfect excuse to do nothing, while neighbour Mr Gleason (Paul Hunter) sets his sights on 'widowed' Susan and Michael has to write a eulogy. Meanwhile, Susan wants to make Nick's old bedroom into a nursery for Janey's yet-to-be-born baby, but Nick has plans to move back in. 40 "Owed to Susan" Dewi Humphreys Steve Armogida and Jim Armogida 18 April 2003 30 minutes 8.57 million Thanks to Roger, Susan finds out that a poem that Ben wrote her while they were courting was actually Your Face by Jalal ad-Din Rumi. Susan then refuses to make love to him until he's written another one, and he even goes to Abi's poetry class to try and write another one. Meanwhile, Nick takes part in an experiment that makes him lose his memory. Guest starring Frances Barber. 41 "Deliverance" Dewi Humphreys Andrea Solomons 25 April 2003 30 minutes 7.32 million After Janey goes into labour while on the phone to Susan, she and Ben rush up to Manchester to be at her side. On the journey up there they recall Nick's birth, and when they get to St. Margaret's Hospital in Manchester, an unseen Janey has given birth to a baby boy, who is later named Kenzo. 42 "Blind Justice" Dewi Humphreys Andrea Solomons 2 May 2003 30 minutes 8.31 million Susan gets hysterical blindness after seeing Michael in bed with a girl called Fiona (Rachel Harvey), and it will not go until Michael says nothing happened. Meanwhile, Ben is on jury duty and is hassled by a busybody fellow juror called Joanna Elton-Johns (Sylvestra Le Touzel), and Nick becomes a "wrapping artist" and wraps everything up in brown paper. 43 "Friday the 31st" Dewi Humphreys James Hendrie and Ian Brown 9 May 2003 30 minutes 8.47 million It's Halloween and Susan has turned the family home into a "house of horror" and dressed up as a witch, but Ben is much less enthusiastic. They are plagued by a group of children (Dani Harmer, Andrew Henry and Hannah Bridges) doing trick or treat, and strange things begin to happen. Also, Abi is dressed as a piece of cheese and Roger is a ghost (a white sheet, actually).. 44 "Sitting Targets" Dewi Humphreys James Hendrie and Ian Brown 16 May 2003 30 minutes 9.89 million Ben and Susan baby-sit Kenzo for Janey, but Susan becomes annoyed when she discovers that she is the only who is unable to stop Kenzo from crying. Meanwhile, Michael wants Ben to read his Geography project, but when Ben can't be bothered. He agrees to do a UFO watch with Michael instead, and Nick is dating three girls at the same time. 45 "Loco Parentis" Dewi Humphreys Andrea Solomons 23 May 2003 30 minutes 6.79 million Ben and Susan are forced to attend parenting classes by Michael's head teacher (Owen Brenman) after he plays truant from school, and Susan is told that she is too interventionist, so she tries to become laid back like Ben, but Michael actually misses the authority. Meanwhile, Roger tries to become more hard and tough so Abi will go out with him. 46 "The Canary Cage" Dewi Humphreys James Hendrie and Ian Brown 30 May 2003 30 minutes 6.72 million After Susan gets a free holiday for four, she, Ben, Nick and Michael all go to Lanzarote in Spain. However, Ben's luggage gets lost, and then all his credit cards and money are stolen and he is forced to beg to Nick for money. Ben also upsets the people in the next house (Henrieta Baines, Christopher Ryan and Cressida Whyte) by accindentally taking indecent photos with his new digital camera. Meanwhile, Michael spends most of his time out.. 47 "May the Best Man Win" Dewi Humphreys Georgia Pritchett 6 June 2003 30 minutes 7.28 million Abi's father, Ben's cousin, Richard Harper (Anthony Head) is getting married for a fifth time, to 18-year-old Gina Beresford and he asks Ben to be the best man, which means Ben has to organise the stag night. The wedding makes Abi annoyed, especially as Gina Beresford was at the same school as her. Meanwhile, when Michael refuses to do the washing-up, no one else does it either. 48 "It’s A Window Filled Life" Dewi Humphreys Fred Barron and Sophie Hetherington 13 June 2003 30 minutes 6.61 million Roger goes to the Harpers saying that one of his patients had got an infectious disease from Peru called "Ortiz River Fever", so Susan puts the whole house under quarantine. Michael stays upstairs with Fiona, while Nick tries to get in the house with a pregnant python called Pamela. Meanwhile, Ben manages to escape the house, meets a man called Clarence (Leslie Randall) and then has an epiphany where he does not exist. Guest starring Russ Abbot. 49 "Sixty Feet Under" Jay Sandrich James Hendrie and Ian Brown 25 December 2003 30 minutes 8.66 million Ben, Susan, Nick and Michael are on the tube after doing some Christmas shopping, and due to signalling problems the train cannot move. Michael gets a girlfriend called Claire (Sydney Stevenson), Nick makes money by selling bottled water and Susan starts decorating the carriage. Abi, Roger, and an Albanian man (Samuel Gough) are busking as a Romanian folk band, while Nick brings Richard Whiteley to see Ben and Susan. However, when the problem is fixed, the driver (Nigel Lindsay) refuses to move on until Susan, who was rude to him, apologises. Meanwhile, Ben, dying for a drink, tries to steal the drunk man’s booze whilst everyone in the carriage is asleep. Guest appearance by Robert Webb.
Series Five (2004)
# Title Directed by Written by Original airdate Duration Viewership 50 "Reloaded" Dewi Humphreys Andrea Solomons 12 March 2004 30 minutes 7.50 million Susan is lying in bed, bored and depressed, with a broken leg, after Ben accidentally reversed the car into her. When Ben comes upstairs to see how she is they end up discussing their family, which depresses them both. They start arguing when Ben surprises her with a box of Turkish Delight, which he didn’t know, she hates. The topic of conversation changes numerous times as they both discuss Nick, Janey and Michael and also reminisce on the arrival of Abi and Roger’s pathetic attempts at asking her out. When Ben gets bored and decides to go downstairs he finds he can’t, as his back has gone thus he and Susan are both stuck. 51 "The Mummy Returns" Dewi Humphreys James Hendrie and Ian Brown 19 March 2004 30 minutes 9.17 million Janey returns home, having being thrown out of Manchester University, but tells Ben and Susan she dropped out. However, Susan soon finds out that the Police are looking for her, and then Susan lies when they turn up at the house, but it turns out the policeman (Gareth Ferdinando) turns out to be an old flame. Also, Janey moves into her own flat, to the delight of Ben. Meanwhile, Michael goes religious with a new friend called Hubert (Alex Dawson) and Abi gets involved in naturism thanks to Ben’s misguided advice and the fact that he held back information for his own amusement. Also, Ben offers some fatherly advice when it is not needed. 52 "You Don’t Know Jack" Dewi Humphreys Andrea Solomons 26 March 2004 30 minutes 7.69 million Michael gets a 'cool' new friend called Jack (Michael Obiora), who gives Michael street cred while he does Jack's homework to his mother’s disgust. Jack gets a crush on Susan, which Michael encourages, while Ben simply focuses on the fact that he shares an interest in football and Slade with Jack. However, Jack’s interest in Susan begins to bother her up until Ben points out what a life with Susan means – this soon puts him off. Meanwhile, someone’s going on a double date, Janey’s sharing her fashion tips with Abi, even though she couldn’t care less and Michael enjoys being part of the cool crowd although he’s not enjoying the additional work. 53 "What’s Up, Docklands?" Dewi Humphreys James Hendrie and Ian Brown 2 April 2004 30 minutes 7.24 million Ben and Susan flat-sit for their friends Geoff (Simon Kunz) and Stephanie (Caroline Loncq) in the London Docklands, whilst they go on holiday. They have problems with the technology, get lost while looking for the pizza man (Toby Sedgwick), set fire to the TV whilst smashing up the rest of the flat looking for the toilet. Ben then decides that they could swap all the broken stuff from their flat with the unsold flat downstairs but Susan disagrees. When the pizza finally arrives, Ben cannot unlock the door, so the pizza man pushes it through the letter box however it is cold, so Ben heats it up, but it catches fire and they have to throw it out of the window. They later ring up their friends and pretend that there has been a break in and that they got tied up to escape the blame. 54 "Luck Be A Lady Tonight" Dewi Humphreys James Hendrie and Ian Brown 16 April 2004 30 minutes 7.63 million Roger becomes depressed when Abi starts going out with a man called Steve (Ben Homewood), so Ben and Susan try and help Roger get a girlfriend so he can make Abi jealous. However, Roger ends up with an escort girl (Lucy Punch) who charges him two hundred pounds an hour. Meanwhile, Abi is being mistreated by her boyfriend as he is making her clean his house and clean out the drains. Also, Michael gets the house valued and starts to show people around much to his parents’ disbelief, whilst Roger reveals that he actually likes using escorts because there is absolutely no commitment, which suits him just fine. Ben and Susan soon realise that they must try and protect Roger. 55 "First Past The Post" Dewi Humphreys James Hendrie and Ian Brown 23 April 2004 30 minutes 7.58 million Following the death of their local councillor, Susan attempts to stand as an independent candidate in the by-election. She starts to work on the issues of street hygiene and speed bumps. She later suggests changes her middle name to the more statesman, like 'Barrington'. Meanwhile, Roger wins The Times crossword again, so Ben then tries to do the same thing but ends up massively disappointed until the name Harper finally appears in the winners column – the only thing is that Roger’s entered his crossword under the name Abi Harper. Also, Michael loses his pet tarantula called Nicola to everybody’s annoyance. 56 "My Will Be Done" Dewi Humphreys Andrea Solomons 30 April 2004 30 minutes 6.05 million Following the death of Susan's best friend Linda, she thinks about mortality. A website that she checks then gives Ben sixty-seven weeks to live, so he decides to write a will and makes Roger Michael's guardian if Ben dies. Also, Nick comes back from travelling on the Circle Line for six months, and gets a job as an Official Mourner at a local undertakers, which he loses when he steals a coffin, crashes three hearses and embalms his own leg. Meanwhile, Janey plans to be a rich woman and Abi becomes a rich woman when Ben reveals that he is going to leave everything to her when he dies. 57 "My Fair Charlady" Dewi Humphreys Steve Armogida and Jim Armogida 7 May 2004 30 minutes 8.13 million Susan gets fed up with doing all the housework, so she hires a super-efficient cleaner called Martha (Vicki Pepperdine). However, Susan soon feels redundant and much to Ben's annoyance, she says Martha has to go, which means that Ben has the job of firing her but when he finds out that Susan has been deliberately messing up the house he decides to keep her on. Meanwhile, Michael gets interested in football to impress a girl and Abi learns the dictionary, with Roger’s help, to get a job at the college library. Also, Ben hires Martha so that she can clean his surgery however when Susan finds out he is forced the sack her again, so Roger hires her. 58 "The Mouth Trap" Dewi Humphreys Andrea Solomons 14 May 2004 30 minutes 6.53 million Mr Addis (Gerard Horan), a patient of Ben's, confesses to murdering his wife (Suzanne Burden) while under sedation so Susan uses her new found interest in Inspector Morse to prove he committed the crime much to Ben’s dismay. Also, Michael claims his new girlfriend (Ulla van Zeller) is a supermodel, although nobody believes him. Meanwhile, Susan’s investigation gets out of hand when she breaks into Mr Addis’s house. However, Susan is confronted by his wife who sits her down and eventually breaks conversation with her. She reveals that her husband has problems with crime dramas. She admits that he has been watching A Touch of Frost much to often. 59 "While You Weren’t Sleeping" Dewi Humphreys Darin Henry 21 May 2004 30 minutes 7.40 million Ben's snoring starts to keep Susan awake so as first attempt at getting him to stop she sews tennis balls to the back of his top but Ben simply refuses to wear it, so they sleep in separate rooms, which puts the whole house under pressure. Meanwhile, Abi begins to think that she is the course of Ben and Susan’s unhappiness whilst a chat to with Ben seems to only confirm her worst fears. Also, Janey becomes a personal shopper for the other family members and changes Michael and Abi's wardrobes against their will. But something weird is about to conclude all the mayhem – Ben is about to display some happiness. 60 "Dentist To The Stars" Dewi Humphreys James Cary 28 May 2004 30 minutes 4.48 million Colin Judd (Peter Capaldi), a famous Hollywood actor, comes to Ben's surgery much to his delight. But before his second visit Ben hurts his back, and Roger gets all his famous patients including Jude Law and Kevin Spacey, and is invited to a special celebrity party to celebrate the film wrap which leaves Ben distraught. Meanwhile, when Susan is sacked as tour guide she reapplies to maintain her pride but finds that she has to revise first, and Michael is doing history coursework. Also, Ben struggles to get around the house when everybody leaves him alone in his paralysed state – all he wants is a glass of water – but has everyone actually left? 61 "A Wife Less Ordinary" Dewi Humphreys Sophie Hetherington 4 June 2004 30 minutes 4.98 million When Susan gets bored with her predictable life, she finds herself life swapping with Janey for a week. With Susan living at Janey's flat and Janey moving into the Harper household trouble isn’t that distant. Ben then moves into his surgery and he and Susan recreate their first date, whilst Janey goes mad pretending she is a housewife with an imaginary husband much to Michael and Abi’s fear. Also, Abi brings her boyfriend, Michael, around but he soon leaves after hearing some poisonous rumours about Abi from Michael. Meanwhile, Ben struggles to enjoy his people-free life style and soon wants to return home but does Susan? 62 "The Book of Love" Dewi Humphreys Steve Armogida and Jim Armogida 11 June 2004 30 minutes 5.19 million Susan joins a book club started by her neighbour, John Griffin (Paul Bradley), but when it turns out to consist of him and Susan, she begins to worry. Then he tries to seduce her, but she goes back a second time so she doesn't have to admit she was wrong, as Ben told her what Griffin would do. Meanwhile, Roger buys some very expensive Coldplay tickets from Michael to impress Abi but loses them and has to buy some more however Abi soon twigs what is happening and threatens Michael who then pretends to have found Roger’s lost tickets, and Janey becomes Ben's dental assistant and takes Kenzo (Thomas and Noah Davis) to work with her much to Ben’s annoyance. 63 "Going Dental" Dewi Humphreys James Hendrie and Ian Brown 18 June 2004 30 minutes 5.62 million When Susan refuses to go to Ben's dental conference at an expensive hotel because she is trying to write a novel, Janey goes instead. Everyone thinks Janey is Ben's mistress, and Ben goes along with this so he can get an important business partnership. Abi also goes to the conference to be with Roger, and Susan, Michael and Hubert soon end up there as well leading to a hectic few hours for Ben. The trouble then gets more intense as Janey reveals to Susan that Ben wanted her to pretend to be his mistress which leaves Susan in a foul mood. Also, Ben tries to get Abi to pretend to be his mistress but Roger isn’t going to let her. Guest starring Windsor Davies. 64 "Glad Tidings We Bring" Dewi Humphreys Andrea Solomons, James Hendrie and Ian Brown 24 December 2004 50 minutes 8.91 million Janey gets engaged to Ches Rochester (Danny Webb), a nightclub owner who is old enough to be her father, whom she has only known 10 days, but a psychic told her she would meet the love of her life at a wedding. They marry two weeks later at his house and Susan is worried about Ben giving the "father of the bride" speech. Meanwhile, Michael's girlfriend Molly (Verity Dearsley) is into long-term plans. At the wedding, Grace and Ches's father (Freddie Davies) dance together, while Michael and Hubert sell the wedding presents on eBay. But, shortly after marrying, Janey goes off with a waiter calls Lars (Mathew Bose) and asks for a divorce. Meanwhile, Nick is sending videos to Ben and Susan claiming to be destitute in the Far East and asks for money. Guest starring Edna Doré. N/A "The Erroneous Storm" Dewi Humphreys James Hendrie and Ian Brown 11 March 2005 5 minutes 10.94 million There is a thunderstorm going on, and after being scared Michael and Janey join Ben and Susan in their bedroom. They are soon joined by Nick who, thanks to now being a party reviewer, brings with him Adam Hart-Davis, Anthony Head, Myleene Klass, Nell McAndrew, Dermot Murnaghan, Clive Russell and Jamie Theakston. 65 "...And I'll Cry If I Want To" Dewi Humphreys Brian Leveson and Paul Minett 25 December 2005 50 minutes 5.85 million Susan is organising a third birthday for Kenzo, partly to make up for the fact she got forgot Janey's third birthday, and wants Janey to bring the father. She wants to hire an expensive clown, but Ben secretly asks Roger to do it instead. However, on the day, Christmas Eve, Roger gets drunk so Ben has to do it instead. Meanwhile, Welsh musician Alfie Butts (Rhodri Meilir), a friend of Nick's, turns up and Susan insists he stay. Ben finds a £1200 ring which he thinks is for him from Susan, but is actually from Grace to her toyboy (John Burgess), so he goes out and buys Susan a £1200 first edition of Mrs Dalloway. Also, Michael gets a Christmas job as a postman and Abi becomes a beautician.
Series Six (2006)
# Title Directed by Written by Original airdate Duration Viewership 66 "Bliss For Idiots" Dewi Humphreys Brian Leveson and Paul Minett 10 March 2006 30 minutes 7.17 million Ben is unhappy with his patients, as they seem to be all lower class rough non-private money-grabbing peasants, but is even less happy with Susan's book-writing houseguest who is the complete opposite. Dr Buck, is the kind of person you would cross the street to avoid, in Ben’s eyes but to Susan he is nearing on a God - a God of self-help. However, when he comes to stay with them Ben soon begins to discover than perhaps Dr Buck’s calm tranquillity isn’t quite what it seems and Susan soon finds another side to him. Ben’s latest patient suggests that he joins his secret organisation as it may have the answer. Also, Roger speaks the Welsh to Abi and Alfie joins in. 67 "The Spokes Person" Dewi Humphreys Brian Leveson, Paul Minett, Bert Tyler-Moore, George Jeffrie and Tess Morris 17 March 2006 30 minutes 7.42 million Ben starts a one-man anti-cycling campaign, which causes chaos in the household. He also appears on a radio show in an attempt to get people to support him however; all he manages to do is aggravate the whole cyclist population of London and have his house egged. Meanwhile, Susan makes a great effort towards her fund-raising idea by getting Michael to take photos of semi-naked men to form a calendar. Unfortunately she doesn’t check the pictures before sending them off to the printers. Also, Roger takes Abi to see Gordon Ramsay but to everybody else’s misfortune she has picked up some new cooking phrases. 68 "Dentally Unstable" Dewi Humphreys Andrea Solomons 31 March 2006 30 minutes 6.41 million With Ben away on a two-week conference, Janey starts an affair with a replacement dentist whose charm captivates the rest of the females in the Harper household. When Susan attempts to put a stop to the new dentist and Janey he simply flatters her so she returns happy. Next its Grace’s turn but even she finds it hard to ignore his flattering one-liners. Even Abi is under to his spell to Roger’s disgust. Meanwhile, Michael's latest scam involves the aid of everyone, but will they help him out? Alfie’s reluctance to get involved causes Michael to threaten him with an ultimatum – either he takes part or he will tell ever one what he looks at on the internet. 69 "Living The Dream" Dewi Humphreys Tom Leopold 7 April 2006 30 minutes 6.28 million Ben and Susan join a pyramid selling scheme on Roger's advice even though he didn’t receive any of his money through the scheme. Upon asking Michael’s advice, he says don’t touch it but Ben and Susan know better, don’t they? Meanwhile, Roger buys himself some special treats and Ben finds himself getting extremely jealous as he cannot shift any of his stock. When Roger buys himself a convertible, Ben finds himself questioning Roger’s profits or rather, from whence they came. Also the family is suffering from the effects of a broken boiler, occasional power cuts and Ben’s dreams of having a champagne breakfast for the first time in his life. 70 "An Embarrassment of Susans" Dewi Humphreys Steve Armogida and Jim Armogida 14 April 2006 30 minutes 6.10 million Ben buys the house next door to help with the family finances, but ends up involved in a "squatter's rights" dilemma but its alright. Perhaps he should just palm it off on Roger – that sounds fair, doesn’t it? However, when Susan finds out she demands that Ben should help Roger get his house back, so Ben, Roger and Alfie break in only to find out that it’s Style Squad, a television show. Meanwhile, Susan tries to fix Michael up with a new girlfriend called Suzanne, but the similarity is not limited to the name. However, Michael cannot see the similarity but Ben can and it appears to be scarring him ever so slightly. 71 "And Other Animals" Dewi Humphreys Tom Leopold 21 April 2006 30 minutes 6.17 million With Nick still away, Michael joining the Army, and Janey getting her stuff out of the attic, Susan is feeling deserted. Even Ben and Alfie don’t seem to be a comfort. However, a stray dog offers a little comfort but unfortunately it becomes man’s best friend however, perhaps it shouldn’t have chosen Ben as that man. Meanwhile, Michael attempts to hide his entire platoon in the attic, Ben attempts to get a priceless teddy bear back from the charity shop after donating it by accident and somebody is about to have a spout of bad luck and amazingly it isn’t Ben. Also, somebody’s looking for Michael, and all his comrades. 72 "The Art of Being Susan" Dewi Humphreys Brian Leveson and Paul Minett 28 April 2006 30 minutes 6.22 million With Ben away again, a wealthy art collector called James Garrett invites Susan to dinner after her boss tells her to do anything to sell art. After contemplating taking him to Alton Towers, she decides to let him make the move with a little nudging. Meanwhile her mother, Grace, is gathering a collection of her own but only appears to be collecting men – however she misjudges how deaf one of them is and ends up with losing them all. Also, Roger is summoning up the courage to pop the question to Abi, it’s just a shame that she can’t she where is continuous stuttering is leading. When Roger finally does pop the question, Abi faints. 73 "The Heart of Christmas" Dewi Humphreys Brian Leveson and Paul Minett 25 December 2006 50 minutes 5.09 million Ben pretends to be ill to get out of Christmas, but when Susan insists he go to the doctor, they decide to run tests because of high blood pressure. Ben then enjoys his private room, but he is soon sent to a NHS ward, as it is soon discovered that his private health insurance has expired. The tests reveal that he needs an operation and during this he dreams that Susan is God. Meanwhile Abi, who is now engaged to Roger, wants a baby, Janey is having problems getting Kenzo's Christmas present and Alfie makes a special brew which he tells Michael will make them irresistible to women. Guest starring Roy Heather, Jeremy Child and Clive Russell.
Series Seven (2007)
# Title Directed by Written by Original airdate Duration Viewership 74 "The Ego Has Landed" Dewi Humphreys Tom Anderson 6 April 2007 30 minutes 6.65 million Ben and Susan have dinner with Les and Clare Morton, who they met in Corfu, who ask Ben to be a sperm donor for them, something that increases Ben's ego. However, Dr. Kent Hawthorne (Jeremy Clyde) tells Ben that his sperm are "too lazy." Meanwhile, Janey is horrified when Kenzo's father, Mark Jameson, arrives and says that he now wants to be part of Kenzo's life. Janey is then upset when Kenzo calls Mark's wife, Linda, his "new Mummy", and she stops Mark from seeing Kenzo, until Susan persuades her otherwise. Abi has a dream that Roger cheated on her and later dreams that she has slept with Orlando Bloom. 75 "Four Affairs and a Funeral" Dewi Humphreys Steve Armogida and Jim Armogida 13 April 2007 30 minutes 5.58 million Henry (Eric Sykes), an elderly patient of Ben's, comes to the surgery for treatment and confesses that he is unhappy in his marriage; he feels that his wife, at the age of 42, might be a tad too old for him, so he has started an affair with a much younger woman. However, Henry soon dies in the surgery chair and leaves Ben in a very sticky situation – a situation that Roger isn’t too pleased about being roped into either. Soon, Ben finds himself comforting the wife of Henry but even sooner, he finds himself being dragged into the world of Henry’s other woman. Meanwhile, Susan is getting suspicious and follows Ben to the funeral much to his dismay. 76 "Once More With Feeling" Dewi Humphreys Steve Armogida and Jim Armogida 20 April 2007 30 minutes 5.64 million Susan suggests to Ben that they renew their wedding vows, but he is reluctant and when he is given director's tickets for a football match, they have to find a compromise that allows both to happen on the same day. Meanwhile, Janey is trying to getting Kenzo into St. Justin's School, and to do so has to impress the Vicar, Denis, who soon asks Janey out, but later goes off her after a conversation with Susan. However, he still agrees to recommend Kenzo for the school. Also, Abi and Roger decide to marry on a Saturday and Ben’s not-so-innocent chat with Kenzo leads to him grassing up Ben and consequently Susan stopping him from going to the football match. 77 "Dutch Art and Dutch Courage" Dewi Humphreys Steve Armogida and Jim Armogida 27 April 2007 30 minutes 5.72 million Susan is going away for the weekend with a millionaire James Garrett (Robert Bathurst) on an art-buying trip, which makes Ben jealous. At the hotel it is discovered that James's assistant forgot to book him a room, so he and Susan have to share a twin room. Meanwhile, Michael experiences his first failure when he fails his driving test. The following day Ben drives him to his university interview, and on the way buys Michael his first pint, which results in him throwing up all over the professor. Also, Janey hurts her neck at the gym and Alfie gives her an amazing massage which she then recommends to Abi resulting in a rather jealous Roger. 78 "Susan of Troy" Dewi Humphreys Ed Dyson 4 May 2007 30 minutes 6.48 million Susan's mother Grace visits, and tells them she has got married on holiday to Brad. Soon after Ben, Susan, Michael, Janey, Alfie, Grace, Brad, Abi and Roger appear on a family edition of The Weakest Link, presented by Anne Robinson, after Michael applied to go on. Abi is voted off first, followed by Roger, Brad and Janey. Before Grace is voted off, she reveals on air that in 1973 a drunken Susan married a wrestler called Troy the Punisher in Las Vegas. Susan is then voted off, followed by a furious Ben, who demands to know what happened. Susan tells him the marriage was annulled after one day. In the head to head, Alfie beats Michael to win the £3000 prize money. 79 "One of the Boys" Dewi Humphreys David Cantor 11 May 2007 30 minutes 6.76 million Ben's old University friend, Charlie Briggs (Diana Weston) arrives and when he arrives Ben faints as it is revealed Charlie has had a sex change and is now a woman called Charlotte. She asks Ben to give her away at her forthcoming wedding, but his initial reluctance sees Susan agree to give her away instead. Meanwhile, Roger's mother Nerys Bailey (Olwyn Reeves) arrives from Wales to meet Abi. She treats Roger like a child, and says that as a wedding present she is buying them a house next to hers in Wales. Susan has to force Roger to tell his mother he does not want to live next to her. Janey needs £10,000 so she can buy a share in a vintage clothing company, but the bank refuses her a loan. 80 "Abi Ever After" Dewi Humphreys George Jeffrie and Bert Tyler-Moore 18 May 2007 30 minutes 5.86 million The day before Roger and Abi's wedding, Ben and Susan hold a party. Abi's mother Shelley (Lorraine Chase), who has been married several times, tries to make a pass at Ben. Meanwhile, Michael and Alfie try to chat up a girl, and both tell her the other is gay. On the wedding day, Ben is best man and Janey is bridesmaid. It is also Janey's birthday, and her boyfriend Steve dumps her over the phone. When taking their vows, Abi says she cannot marry Roger, and tells Susan that she fears she will end up like her mother. However, Susan talks her round and Abi and Roger marry. 81 "Breaking Up Ain’t Hard To Do" Dewi Humphreys Brian Leveson and Paul Minett 25 May 2007 30 minutes 5.57 million Ben and Susan's oldest friends, Ted and Joanna Draper (Geoffrey McGivern and Emma Amos), are having marriage problems and Ben and Susan soon get involved. They then argue themselves about what in the house belongs to who. Meanwhile, Janey wants Kenzo to appear in a television advert for breakfast cereal, but pulls him out just before the audition as she begins to feel guilty that she isn’t giving Kenzo a choice and is then offered a part herself. Michael tries unsuccessfully to make Alfie a Internet musical star but due to Alfie’s stage fright, even though the only other person in the room is Michael, prevents his debut. 82 "Life Begins At Fifty" Dewi Humphreys George Jeffrie and Bert Tyler-Moore 8 June 2007 30 minutes 4.84 million Susan is arrested for stealing a pair of £250 sunglasses, at the same as she is going through the menopause. However, she refuses to accept that this has caused her to forget to pay for them. When the case goes to court Ben defends her and tries to persuade the Court that the stealing was a result of the menopause. The Judge (Nichola McAuliffe) dismisses the case and gives Susan advice on the menopause much to Susan’s disgust. Meanwhile, Alfie takes Kenzo to the park for Janey and meets a girl called Melanie, and later pretends Kenzo is his son and Janey his ex-wife – but can he convince Janey to play along? 83 "Ho Ho No" Baz Taylor Tom Anderson 26 December 2007 60 minutes 6.14 million Susan tells Ben that she has planned his perfect Christmas, a quiet stay at a country hotel without the children. However, she has secretly invited the whole family, and Alfie turns up with his strange uncle and Michael brings his Communist girlfriend Gwen Amy Noble. Susan tries to ensure that Ben does not see the rest of the family, which proves difficult when Abi, who has become the hotel's massage therapist, has to give him a massage. Later that evening, Crystal, one of Ben's patient's who is stalking him, turns up saying her fiance has just escaped from prison and is coming to kill Ben, and a mysterious man (John Challis) who says he is an actor playing Jacob Marley turns up. Susan and Ben then run round the hotel trying to hide from the fiance, and soon Ben sees that the whole family is there. Gwen's father then turns up. Later, when Ben goes to Reception, the Police tell him that Crystal's fiance has been caught. When he and the rest of the family go back into the main hall it has been mysteriously decorated and Christmas presents placed on the floor.
Series Eight (2008)
# Title Directed by Written by Original airdate Duration Viewership 84 "The Parent Trap" Baz Taylor Brian Leveson and Paul Minett 11 April 2008 30 minutes 5.56 million Ben is delighted when he takes delivery of a plasma television for his neighbour Mr MacIntyre, who is on holiday. Michael tells his parents that Nikki (Ellie Beaven), his girlfriend, is pregnant. He wants to propose to her, but her deeply religious parents, the Bakers, dislike the idea but suggest they donate £20,000 for the child's upbringing. When Nikki's parents throw her out, she moves in with Michael. Shortly after they arrive to talk to Nikki, and the Harpers leave them alone in the lounge. After hearing nothing, they check on them to discover that the Bakers have stolen nearly everything. Also, Janey is dating widowed Daniel and is determined that Kenzo and Daniel's son Joshua should get on. 85 "Let’s Not Be Heisty" Baz Taylor Ed Dyson 18 April 2008 30 minutes 5.43 million When Ben goes to his bank to pay in a cheque from Alfie for two years' rent, he walks in during a robbery. Minutes later Janey follows him in. The robbers are a bickering couple Joan (Pauline Quirke) and Gary (Perry Benson), while the other hostages are Jim McKenzie (Sean Conlon), manager Peter Warwick (Simon Chandler) and chief cashier Belinda Smith (Emma Kennedy). Janey is soon released in return for food, and hours later the police storm the bank and the other hostages are released. With Susan away, during the robbery a young, blonde Family Liaison Officer Penny Bishop (Georgia Moffett) comes round to comfort Michael and he takes advantage of the situation. 86 "Cards on the Table" Baz Taylor Brian Leveson and Paul Minett 25 April 2008 30 minutes 5.23 million Ben becomes addicted to poker while Susan has become addicted to seeing clairvoyant Zelda Nobbs (Anna Chancellor). Zelda tells Susan that Ben will die the following Thursday at 9.04 pm. When her other predictions come true, Ben and Susan plan to spend his final moments having sex. Just as they are about to, they realise their lounge clock has stopped and it is already 9.30 pm. To celebrate him not dying, they decide to go to Venice. Meanwhile, Susan suggests Roger gets some friends after he is annoyed that Abi goes out with her friends. Roger then goes out for the night with Michael and his friends, and plays poker with Ben's poker circle. 87 "The Wax Job" Baz Taylor Steve Armogida and Jim Armogida 2 May 2008 30 minutes 5.13 million Susan is made the manager of the art gallery, and immediately has to prepare for a new exhibition. Meanwhile, Ben retires when he sells out to the Cavatex Corporation, which has become Roger's employer. Ben then starts painting model military figures and uses Alfie's room as a hobby room. Alfie then moves into Michael's room, and Janey soon has to give them relationship advice so they get on better. Ben soon gets bored of his new hobby, and assists Susan to set up the exhibition. When he gets the money for the surgery, and it is less than he expected, Ben has to go to Cavatex and persuade them he is committed to Cavatex so he gets his job back. 88 "Neighbour Wars" Baz Taylor Darin Henry 9 May 2008 30 minutes 5.02 million Ben accidentally drives into Mr Casey (Nickolas Grace), the neighbour whose dog he previously ran over, and he ends up in hospital. The Police decide to take no action, but Ben wants Mr Casey to sign a disclaimer so he cannot later be sued. Mr Casey then spends his time recovering in Ben's house with Ben trying to persuade him to sign the disclaimer. However, Mr Channing (Jonathan Aris), from the insurance company tells Ben he believes it is a scam and Ben then tries to catch Mr Casey out. However, in the process he sits fire to his bedroom and they then have to make a deal so both can claim insurance. Meanwhile, Susan and Kenzo are in Scarborough for a week with Grace. 89 "Can’t Get No Satisfaction" Nic Phillips David Cantor 16 May 2008 30 minutes 4.89 million Kenzo is learning the piano, much to the family's disappointment. Ben reforms the rock and roll band he was with in his 20s, The Revolutions, and makes contact with guitarists Ziggy (Philip Bird) and Danny (David Keyes) and drummer Sticks (Rowland Rivron). However, they soon want to sack him as the lead singer. Susan hasn't the heart to tell him, until Ben criticises Kenzo during a school piano recital. Meanwhile, Michael organises dates for himself and Alfie over the Internet, but get their photographs mixed up and they have to pretend they are each other on the double date with Terri (Manal El-Feitury) and Georgia (Louise Mardenborough). 90 "The Abi Habit" Nic Phillips Tom Anderson 23 May 2008 30 minutes 4.74 million Having not had sex for several weeks, Susan decides that to spice up their sex lives they should abstain from sex and even the slightest physical contact for three weeks. Ben is annoyed with this, but Susan is determined. Meanwhile, Roger gets a note from Abi that says she has left him to become a nun. Ben and Susan drive him to Abi's convent and she and Roger talk, but he is unable to persuade her to leave the convent and they leave without her. Janey asks Michael to look into her latest boyfriend, Ron (Ben Jones), and discovers that he still lives with his mother, something Janey says does not concern her. 91 "Have An Unhappy Christmas" Nic Phillips Brian Leveson and Paul Minett 24 December 2008 60 minutes 7.12 million Ben buys Susan a vacuum cleaner but soon regrets it, so he goes out to buy a necklace but is horrified to find it half price in a sale the next day. He goes back to complain but ends up getting locked in. Meanwhile Janey, Michael and Alfie order a stack of household items, with Ben and Susan's wedding photo on them. However a factory error leads to a risqué photo from Ben and Susan's wedding night being printed on the items. Guest starring Julian Clary.
Series Nine (2009)
# Title Directed by Written by Original airdate Duration Viewership 92 "Bully For Ben" Nic Phillips Brian Leveson and Paul Minett 2 April 2009 30 minutes 6.72 million It's Ben and Susan's wedding anniversary and Ben is trying to write a loving message in a card but is having serious difficulties, despite fierce prompting from Janey who sets off for the local pub quiz with Michael, Alfie and Roger. Ben is insulted that he wasn't invited but decides to tag along anyway. As their team falls behind in the quiz, Alfie points out that a player on another team has been cheating by texting all night. Ben decides to confront the phone cheat, Barry, who invites him outside to settle their disagreement. Ben backs out of the fight but is determined to get into shape so he can return to confront Barry. 93 "Bringing Up Janey" Nic Phillips Amy Shindler 9 April 2009 30 minutes 4.93 million Susan is all dressed up for a working lunch with James Garrett. Ben is more than a little jealous, despite Susan's assurances that it's purely a professional relationship. Thinking Susan has forgotten her bag, Ben goes through it and is shocked to find a hotel room key and a note from James. Ben heads straight to the hotel and poses as the hotel manager to get in to James's room. He can't believe his eyes when he finds Janey there. It's not long before Ben tells Susan about Janey's new romance. But, surprisingly, she takes the news really well and Ben begins imagining the benefits of gaining a rich son-in-law. 94 "A Very Brief Encounter" Nic Phillips Steve Armogida and Jim Armogida 16 April 2009 30 minutes 4.69 million Susan's old university friend, Margot (Belinda Lang), visits for some support during her divorce. Ben is surprised when Margot reveals how good Susan was at picking men up in her youth and is horrified to find out their sons, Nick and Michael, were named after two of her many ex-boyfriends. Meanwhile, Janey attempts to lift Roger's spirits by assuring him women find him attractive – especially her fictitious Swedish friend, Elke. When Roger learns Swedish and decides he wants to meet Elke, Janey is forced to let him down by faking a call from Elke saying she's moved back to Sweden. All she has to do is persuade someone to be Elke. 95 "The Psyche of Mikey" Nic Phillips Ed Dyson 19 April 2009 30 minutes 4.48 million When Michael announces he's off to see a therapist, Susan is immediately worried there's something terribly wrong, as the comedy continues. Ben is convinced a father-son chat will sort out the problem but Susan's not so sure and heads straight to see the therapist, Dr Twelvetree. When neither Ben nor Susan discover anything about Michael's mental state, they change tactics. While snooping around Michael's room, they find no evidence that he has any problems, that is until Michael comes in and appears to be having a conversation with himself. 96 "A Difficult Undertaking" Nic Phillips Andrew Kreisberg 19 April 2009 30 minutes 4.48 million Ben's Uncle Norris dies, but the only inheritance he receives is a box of old clothes. Meanwhile, Susan receives ten thousand pounds through the will after the moral support she gave him during and after the death of his wife Mildred. The wake is later held at the Harper’s house as it is in a convenient location. However, Ben’s purchase of a £60 suit and his general inconsiderate nature leaves him unpopular with everyone. Also, a mix up with Uncle Norris’s burial suit and Ben’s new suit leads to a winning lottery ticket going missing and a certain group of people going to pay their last repects, which unfortunately results in an embarrassment for the whole family. 97 "Dog Dazed" Nic Phillips Steve Armogida and Jim Armogida 23 April 2009 30 minutes 5.14 million Susan decides she wants to get a dog so she sets out on trying to convince Ben to get one. Nevertheless, even when he gives in, her over-the-top nature leads to the assessor deeming the family unsuitable for a dog adoption. Later, Susan’s depression leads to Ben going to visit the dog kennels in an attempt to get a Susan a dog however Susan is already there and has locked herself in a kennel in a protest and has even called the press. To try and sort everything out, Ben goes into the kennel and without him knowing, Susan handcuffs him to one of the bars and leaves him there to deal with the television reporter. Yet things still manage to get worse when Ben sees his cell mate. 98 "It’s Training Men" Nic Phillips Robyn Taylor 30 April 2009 30 minutes 5.15 million An undercover assessor for Cavitex, posing as a patient, leads to Ben having to attend a retraining course much to his dismay. The thought of spending a weekend with Roger and a giant bear causes depression to sink in especially when he attends the course but falls asleep and misses everything but the worst is still to come – there is a written exam to be completed and if he fails, he loses his job. However, having failed Ben is still optimistic as he has a plan – he’s going to try and bribe the official from Cavitex but money isn’t what he wants. Will Ben be able to ‘go gay’ to save his job? Meanwhile, Janey, Michael and Alfie get drunk after drinking Ben’s booze. 99 "The Guru" Nic Phillips Darin Henry 7 May 2009 30 minutes 5.24 million Ben is stunned to discover that successful celebrity dentist, Jeremy Livingston, has dedicated his new book to him, especially because he hasn't got a clue who Jeremy is. Meanwhile, Susan is stranded in an Albanian airport where a handsome stranger comes to her rescue when her bag is stolen. She is instantly smitten with The Doctor, a dashing American, who is heading off on an adventure around the world. The pair connect and he soon asks Susan to join him on his travels. But, could Susan really turn her back on Ben for a lifetime of romance, and could The Doctor really be all that he seems? Guest starring John Barrowman and David Haig. 100 "Kenzo’s Project" Nic Phillips Tom Anderson and Darin Henry 14 May 2009 30 minutes 4.91 million In an attempt to help Kenzo with his school project regarding his family’s history, Ben and Susan decide to share the highlights of their past with him. His interest in Uncle Nick leads to Janey and Michael sharing their personal experiences with him but what exactly can Alfie add to the discussion? Meanwhile, Janey and Michael use the project as a way of getting at each other whilst Kenzo becomes the definition of bored. Thoughts and feelings from the past blast back, and the family realise just how much their lives have changed. Roger also contributes to the project by discussing his love life. This episode is a clip show celebrating the 100th episode of the series. 101 "2039: A Christmas Oddity" Ed Bye Tom Anderson and David Cantor 24 December 2009 60 minutes 5.59 million It's December 2039 and the Harpers gather together to celebrate Christmas. Thirty years in the future, the family's appearance may have changed somewhat but their love/hate relationships are still very much alive. Ben is in now in his eighties, a little slower than he used to be but still as grumpy as ever and causing grief for Susan – who, thanks to "a little moisturiser", hasn't aged a bit ("a little moisturiser" may also be an injoke to her guest appearance in Doctor Who). To say that Janey has gained a little weight is an understatement, as she now weighs in at a whopping 20 stone. Michael, meanwhile, is doing a very bad job of hiding his baldness with an unconvincing wig and, following a disastrous trip to the zoo, Roger is now merely a head in a glass dome. Susan is put out by the fact that grandson Kenzo, now 38 years old, hasn't come to visit the family for Christmas Day. Ben is quick to point out that the Harpers have had some of the worst Christmases ever, and the family are reminded of some of their Christmas disasters. Two years stand out in particular – back when they were all a lot younger, and Janey was a lot lighter, the usual arguments over presents were exacerbated by Susan's fun, new game – the Greed Gift Exchange. But, when Kenzo finally arrives, he points out that the year Uncle Richard came to stay was just as traumatic for him.
Series Ten (2010)
# Title Directed by Written by Date Duration Viewership 102 "Wheelie Ben" Ed Bye Amy Shindler 9 July 2010 30 minutes 4.33 million  When the local council insists that Ben has a disablity problem, they start giving him local cheques in the mail but they do not know that the cheques belong to another Ben Harper. Instead, Ben decides to spend the money on buying Susan expensive shoes and starts to become disabled by fooling a court woman, Rosemary, who nominates him for an award. Meanwhile, Janey and Kenzo give up Janey's teddy and Kenzo's thumb sucking for a bet. Ben soon begins to sink deeper and deeper into his lie, he begins to realise that the truth must come out, but in no way can he predict how the truth is eventually revealed. 103 "The Son'll Come Out" Ed Bye Tom Anderson 16 July 2010 30 minutes 4.78 million  Michael is becoming more and more out of control until he comes home drunk one night and blurts out his deepest secret, telling Ben that he's gay. Susan is annoyed that Michael didn't come out to her and for once a supportive Ben outshines Susan's caring nature, but the tables turn when Michael's boyfriend's father goes to the dentist for a check-up. Meanwhile, Janey takes care of an annoying elderly patient, which eventually leads to him dying and leaving Janey his flat, and Michael's boyfriend Scott moves into the Harper residence. 104 "Desperately Stalking Susan" Ed Bye Brian Leveson and Paul Minett 23 July 2010 30 minutes 4.42 million  Susan has enlisted the help of older neighbour Martin – whose wife passed away a few years ago – to do odd jobs around the house. Ben's pleased, and starts getting Martin to do even more jobs. Ben and Susan find themselves at the mercy of a cross-dressing-lunatic... all because Susan receives expensive valentine's gifts that she presumes are from Ben, but aren't, so he goes round to confront Martin, and is shocked to discover his neighbour has made a shrine to Susan. Meanwhile, Janey gets hooked on high-sugar energy drinks, and finds herself in Liverpool. 105 "The Melbourne Identity" Ed Bye Brian Leveson and Paul Minett 30 July 2010 30 minutes 4.66 million  Ben and Susan are enjoying the peace and quiet of having the house all to themselves, but this is soon ruined by an Australian Backpacker called Craig, who turns up at the Harper’s doorstep. Susan immediately invites him into the house, and he starts doing the jobs that Ben’s always put off, much to Ben’s annoyance, who just wants the house to himself and Susan. Things soon take a rather sinister twist for Ben when he realises that Craig may be his son, after a night of ‘fun’ with his Mother. Janey soon takes a liking to the new guest and the pair of them go on a date, much to Ben's dismay, Susan then discovers the truth and it transpires that his brief fling happened when he and Susan were dating. 106 "He's Just Not That Into Ben" Ed Bye Dan Staley 6 August 2010 29 minutes 4.89 million  When Michael returns home from a gay bar drunk, he realises he’s forgotten his phone, but Susan insists that he can’t go back there in his state – he might get stabbed – so she sends Ben instead. However, he soon grabs the attention of Rupert, who’s a little bit too attracted to him, and Ben finds himself getting sent flowers and receiving visits to his house and dental surgery. Only Susan seems to have the power to stop Ben’s apparent stalker, and the truth certainly hurts. 107 "Slammertime" Ed Bye George Jeffrie and Bert Tyler-Moore 13 August 2010 29 minutes 4.70 million  Susan's going away for the weekend, but is concerned that Ben will just lie on the sofa eating junk food, watching TV and drinking beer. He's adamant that he will do no such thing, and that he will eat the fruit, vegetables and other food that she's left for him. Later on, he’s alone in the house, when the police turn up and ask him to be apart of an identity parade. He's very happy to do so, and shows off his moves… but his mood soon drops when he's formally arrested for a mugging! And ends up in a cell with fellow inmates Carl and Terry. On returning home, Ben is enjoying some tranquillity… until two familiar faces turn up on his doorstep, and his weekend soon turns to anything but the fun and relaxing time he set out to have especially when Verity, Carl's wife, turns up. 108 "Ben Behaving Badly" Ed Bye Tom Anderson 27 August 2010 30 minutes 4.09 million  Janey is due to work, but needs someone to cover for her, because she needs to look after Kenzo and she also wants to keep her job. She asks Michael, who can't because he's too pre-occupied with his split from Scott, then Roger comes round, who's still depressed about Abi. Just wanting some peace, Ben enquires about whether this old man – Harry - has Sky, and when he finds out that he does, he insists that he covers for her. He's quite capable of looking after an old man. Reluctantly, Janey hands over the keys, and his address, but tells Ben that the one thing he mustn't do is let Harry out of his sight. 109 "Harper vs. Harper" Ed Bye Steve Armogida and Jim Armogida 22 July 2011 30 minutes 4.13 Million
It's Susan's Godparents anniversary, and Ben doesn’t want to go. Susan's determined to make him, but he point blank refuses… which sparks one of many, many arguments. After their old one collapses, they go to get a new bed, which they argue over, until they find separate beds, which turns into separate rooms, which eventually turns into separate houses. Susan stays at her house, while Ben seeks solace in Roger, who's expecting a woman around. And while Susan is enjoying herself with lots of happy company, Ben is ruining Roger's evening with a woman. The following night, it's Susan's turn to find accommodation elsewhere, and she ends up in Michael and Scott's flat, where, as usual, she tries to take control of things. Ben then intrudes on Roger the following evening… mainly because he’s hungry, but Michael and Janey come around, begging him to apologise to Susan... they can't stand having their separate parents in each others' flats. Will they get back together, or will everyones' lives be ruined by their split?Note: This was episode was due to air at the end of series ten, and was such included on the DVD for the series. However, due to scheduling issues, was not aired until the eleventh series.
110 "Janey's Choice" Ed Bye Andrew Kreisberg 17 June 2011 30 minutes 4.37 million
Kenzo, Janey and Mark return from the Zoo after a wonderful time, and then soon after Mark leaves, Australian backpacker Craig turns up to take Janey out. Mark turns up at Ben's dental surgery to ask for his blessing in marrying Janey and Ben is only too happy to oblige. Meanwhile another problem rises as Craig turns up at the Harper household to ask Susan for her blessing in allowing him to marry Janey. The whole situation culminates in a French restaurant, which Susan has booked, and both men try out their proposals to Janey, with little success, while Roger turns up with a Mexican band. Who will Janey choose? The Australian backpacker, the father of Kenzo and a wealthy businessman, or a Dentist?Note: This was episode was due to air at the end of series ten, and was such included on the DVD for the series. However, due to scheduling issues, was not aired until the eleventh series.
111 "Mary Christmas" Ed Bye Brian Leveson, Paul Minett & Darin Henry 24 December 2010 60 minutes 6.40 million  Two stories are placed in to one hour long story for this Yuletide offering, which deals with one Christmas tale before tackling the family's New Year's celebrations. And for once, the season of goodwill really seems to be present in the Harper household, with Ben actually throwing himself into the spirit of the holidays. Meanwhile, Susan decides to throw a New Year's Eve party, and hopes it will be better than their archenemy's, Mr Casey. How can she trump him? By hiring Ainsley Harriot to do the catering...
Series Eleven (2011)
# Title Directed by Written by Date Duration Viewership 112 "Labour Pains" Ed Bye Darin Henry 1 July 2011 30 minutes 4.42 million Ben returns home from a hard day's work, angrier than ever at the way Cavitex are now treating the dentists. He informs Susan that they've introduced time cards at work, and he is outraged because he doesn't have enough time to complete the crossword during his toilet break. The following morning, Ben has a meeting with fellow dentists, about the situation with Mr Griffith, where he makes a passionate speech against Mr Griffith and Cavitex, but when he receives a call from his boss, his attitude becomes much friendlier, especially out of earshot of his colleagues. Arriving at the office, Ben is uneasy of what to expect, but he's in for a surprise when Mr Griffith offers him a promotion. The array of items on "his" new desk distracts him from giving a proper answer to Mr. Griffith, but he soon accepts the position. Returning home, Ben attempts to show off his new suit and job to Michael, however, he's too busy playing his new game. The Cavitex meeting that evening cause Ben's old colleagues to realised they've been betrayed, especially when the answer to Roger's "excessively polite demands" causes both sides to take a step back. But as things come to a head for Ben, does he have a plan up his sleeve? 113 "Accusin' Susan" Ed Bye Robin Taylor 8 July 2011 30 minutes 3.62 Million Michael is enjoying the life of a layabout, but is soon distracted by Kenzo, who is upset at his report card - he's been given a C in Art. Michael soon realises that Kenzo has the same teacher as he used to have - Mr Tilley - and remembers that Tilley used to have an agenda against him. With Ben away at a conference - and still not having got the hang of texting - Susan throws herself into her work. At the art gallery, however, she's on the receiving end of some criticism from her boss, Katie, due to a badly designed and organized gallery, so Susan and a fellow colleague, Chris, are ordered to stay behind that night to sort it out. Later that night the work is finished, and Chris is very impressed. However, Susan starts discussing art in a very sensual manner, which leads to Chris coming onto her. Much to her surprise, she finds out that Chris has filed a complaint about Susan for sexual harassment which leads to Katie suspending Susan from her work. After taking advice from Janey, Susan invites Chris over to her house to talk him into dropping the complaint. Much to her surprise, Chris reveals that he is attracted to Susan. 114 "Germs Of Endearment" Ed Bye Ed Dyson 15 July 2011 30 minutes 3.81 Million Michael and Janey decide to treat their parents to a Spanish holiday for their anniversary, but the flight is a living hell as Ben picks fights with the other passengers. Then there is the little matter of the virus outbreak which forces them into quarantine on arrival at the airport. Back home, Michael admits he charged the all-expenses-paid trip to Ben's credit card - now all he needs is a fast way of paying it back. As an idea, Michael and Janey decide to sell some antiques in order to appear on television, but the man from the show who visits them disapproves their antiques until he sees the old mantle clock that Susan adores. Taking a risk, the two decide to sell the antique but replace it with a modern clock. As soon as Ben and Susan arrive from their holiday, the modern clock goes off and Susan blames Michael and Janey... 115 "Relationship Happens" Ed Bye Ed Dyson 29 July 2011 30 minutes 3.83 Million Susan feels in need of love and attention, and hopes dragging a reluctant Ben along on a spiritual course for couples will put the spark back into their marriage. Meanwhile, Michael and Janey are enjoying being the only responsible adults in the house when Matt - Michael's new boyfriend - manages to get into the house through the open front door, and joins the two of them in the kitchen where, much to Michael’s annoyance, Janey is invited out clubbing with them. Coming back home, Michael starts to wonder if Janey actually cares about him. Ben and Susan are attending a class which involves just one simple task - writing ten things you love about your partner. They also attend a class on meditation, but Ben fails to relax due to an overwhelming urge to break wind. When Matt and Janey are due to go out to lunch again, Matt accidentally says some horrible things about Michael. It seems that blood really is thicker than water. 116 "'Booked" Ed Bye Steve Armogida and Jim Armogida 5 August 2011 30 minutes 4.01 Million With Ben away on a volunteer dental programme in the Colombian rainforest, Janey is desperate for Susan to sign up to Facebook to get her friend count to a thousand, and even offers to set up her mother's account herself, which Susan declines. However, on seeing her profile, she's actually quite impressed. A message from Paul Tremayne also sends Susan down memory lane, and has Michael wishing for another father. The following morning, Susan is very impressed by the breakfast Janey is eating, but it's to her surprise to discover that Roger is the cook. Strangely, he's also taken on a role that Ben should have been doing for years - cleaning, fixing etc, and Susan takes full advantage of the situation. Later on that evening, Susan and Paul meet up for a chat, but unfortunately, the evening is cut short when Paul has to go off to run and errand in Chiswick and Susan offers to drop the package off for him. In doing so, she ends up getting arrested. It is not until she gets to the police station to find out that her old friend, Paul is a drug dealer whom the police have been trying to capture for a while. Susan is far from pleased. 117 "A Decent Proposal" Ed Bye David Cantor 12 August 2011 30 minutes 3.79 Million The Harpers are at Grace's funeral, and while Janey is concerned for her mother, Michael seems more interested in the backside of a young undertaker, Sean. Needing some time alone with her mother, Susan's grief soon turns into shock when her father, Arthur, suddenly turns up out of the blue very much alive. Susan's angry at his sudden re-appearance. After chatting with Ben, Arthur is surprised that Susan even married him in the first place, so he offers her £2 million to divorce him for good. Ben and Susan agree to the divorce, and decide they'll get married again after they receive the money. The following day, the two of them go to see a lawyer about getting divorced, but first they have to come up with a reason, and they're surprisingly imaginative. Michael's nerves get the better of him when he tells Sean that he is dying, just so he can spend some more time with him. After coming home from the lawyer they are shocked to discover that Arthur had passed away on the sofa while they were gone, and it seems that Arthur was lying all along and that he didn't actually have the money. Susan is disgusted with herself for even thinking about getting divorced for money. The following day, Michael finally plucks the courage to tell Sean that he isn't actually dying, but he may regret telling the truth. 118 "Darts All, Folks" Ed Bye Darin Henry 19 August 2011 30 minutes 3.70 Million Ben and Susan are in the pub, enjoying what she believes to be a quick drink before their meal out, when a man approaches their table He reveals himself to be Martin, an old fan of Ben's father's darts skills. Presuming Ben to have inherited his father's skills, he invites him to join their team, The Menaces. With Ben ignoring Susan whilst being distracted with the darts team, Susan reveals that now that he's distracted with the darts, she can spend money on whatever she likes, including a personal trainer. Later on, Susan is enjoying a session with Andre, her trainer, who uses her relaxed state to reveal the rather expensive bill, which she agrees to pay. At the pub, The Menaces are discussing Bens lack of darts skill, although when he arrives, it takes a bit of time for the news to register. The following day, Roger arrives with some good news for Ben - one of his friends, Big Jerry, has died so Roger decides to take Ben as Big Jerry's replacement. Could Roger's decision be a decision to regret; and will Susan discover Andre's secret? 119 "Susan For A Bruisin'" Ed Bye Darin Henry 26 August 2011 30 minutes 3.74 Million Susan wants to look her best for an impending school reunion. When she is asked to give the keynote address, however, she decides that her best may need some help. Unfortunately, Ben is on hand to administer the 'Cavitox'. 120 "A Night Out (Series Finale)" Ed Bye David Cantor 2 September 2011 30 minutes 3.63 Million
In this series finale, the majority of the Harper clan are all heading out for the night - Janey's off with Susan to a hen party, while Roger's off to a blind date, with a girl he met on the Internet. Janey's rented Kenzo's favourite cartoon on DVD, so he and his grandfather (Ben) can remain entertained. A while later, at the Harper house, Kenzo is annoyed with Ben, who's watching a film instead of putting Kenzo's cartoon on. Ben can't believe that Kenzo isn't enjoying the film, but Kenzo's own plan of action soon comes into force, and Ben finds himself on the other side of the door - locked out. Kenzo then decides to make a sandwich out of most of the family's edible goods, much to the disgust of Ben, who's at the window still waiting to get back in. Kenzo's also orders a pizza, using Ben's credit card. When Michael arrives at the house, he is amused by Ben's predicament. Ben tries to get Michael to help him get inside, however, he refuses.Note: This episode was originally scheduled for 24 June 2011, but was postponed for ten weeks due to an overrun Wimbledon tennis match. The episode appeared on the BBC iPlayer television-on-demand service on the originally scheduled date, but was removed shortly afterwards.
- ^ a b c d e f Lewishohn, Mark (2003). Radio Times Guide to TV Comedy. London: BBC Worldwide. ISBN 0563487550.
- ^ a b c d "My Family - Episode List". British TV Comedy. 2008. http://www.phill.co.uk/comedy/myfamily/list.html. Retrieved 2008-04-06.
- ^ "My Family - Series 7". British Comedy Guide. 2008. http://www.comedy.org.uk/guide/tv/my_family/episodes/7/. Retrieved 2008-04-06.
- ^ "Friday 11 April TV Listing". Radio Times. 5 April 2008.
- ^ "Friday 18 April TV Listing". Radio Times. 12 April 2008.
- ^ "BarNetwork TV BBC Week 13: Thursday 2 April 2009". BBC Press Office. 2009. http://www.bbc.co.uk/pressoffice/proginfo/tv/2009/wk13/thu.shtml#thu_myfamily.
- ^ "Christmas Day TV Listing". Radio Times. 22 December 2007.
- ^ a b http://www.barb.co.uk/report/weeklyTopProgrammesOverview?
- ^ a b c d e f http://www.barb.co.uk/report/weeklyTopProgrammesOverview?_s=4
- ^ http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b0120w05
- ^ http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b0120w05
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